


angel of small death

by iamnotbrianmay



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, For Once I am Not Hurting Roger, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Or Is It?, Romantic Soulmates, This Time I am Hurting Freddie, commitment issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:13:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29438796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamnotbrianmay/pseuds/iamnotbrianmay
Summary: Brianna always jokes about how soulmates must be a way for the Universe to keep artists broken-hearted. It wasn’t really a joke, not for either of them, not when they knew that they’d have to choose between their hearts and their souls, but Freddie still liked to laugh at it every time it was brought up.---Reverse Soulmate AU in which once you meet and fall in love with your soulmate you stop seeing colours.
Relationships: (Background) John Deacon/Brian May, Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor
Comments: 10
Kudos: 9
Collections: Meant To Be: The Soulmate Challenge





	angel of small death

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a lovely challenge for the Clog Factory Server for Valentine's day! I bring you the reverse soulmate AU, which I think it's rather romantic. Giving up something so important to you because you love that person so much? Umm gay. Also very romantic. 
> 
> Thank you so much for help from my wonderful beta Em (@sweetestsight) and for the absolutely amazing mood boards by my artist Amore (@emma_and_orlando)! I love you both to pieces, thank you for helping me out with this! 
> 
> If you want to see the full mood board click [on this link](https://emmaandorlando.tumblr.com/post/643122076856762368/the-moodboard-for-the-lovely-marias)! Remember to give Amore loads of love for her fantastic work! 
> 
> I hope you all like what I have written and get hype for the second chapter.

Nobody ever expected Freddie Mercury to hate the idea of soulmates. She was a romantic; she liked to wax poetry about a love so deep that it could defy time, a love so amazing that it would tear down all expectations. But they should have known. 

More than a romantic Freddie was an artist; she could spend hours sitting in a park admiring the beauty all around her. She liked the colour blue of the sky when the sun was at its maximum point. She liked the yellow of daffodils and the cream colour of the pages of an old book. She adored the way that colours seemed to dance under the semi-darkness of a nightclub or bar, and the way that paint looked as it was drying. 

She would absolutely not be able to see any of those things if she ever found and fell in love with her soulmate. 

Brianna always jokes about how that must be a way for the Universe to keep artists broken-hearted. It wasn’t really a joke, not for either of them, not when they knew that they’d have to choose between their hearts and their souls, but Freddie still liked to laugh at it every time it was brought up. 

The Universe, however, did like to play cosmic jokes on all of them, and this seemed like the perfect one. She did have to admit that it was quite romantic to find someone who would give your colours away for, but that was just not her. Not for someone who loves the world too dearly to ever want to be deprived of everything it has to offer. 

So, just like Brianna, Freddie walks around with long sleeves or thick armbands. She tries her best not to meet people that look like the kind of woman that Freddie could fall madly in love with and makes sure to steer clear of any movies or songs about love. Love is not something for artists like Freddie. 

* * *

Of course, they are bound to meet their soulmates. 

It happens on the best day of Freddie’s life, or what had been the best day. She’s finally got a job that promises her enough money to be able to pay rent, eat, and still have a little bit left to spend, Brianna had finally managed to book them a room for them to hold auditions in a few weeks back and several people had signed up, and her mother had given her money for new clothes. The only thing that had put a damper on her mood was the fact that nobody seemed good enough for them, there were some candidates, but none of them was quite right. 

Freddie wrinkles her nose, “I really don’t want to settle.” 

There is a light knock on the door, and Brianna gets up to open it, “We still have people to go through. Don’t lose hope.” 

Brianna opens the door, and Freddie instantly decides that she doesn’t want the girl in the doorway in her band. She is perfect. She looks like an angel with her perfectly messy blonde hair and striking blue eyes. Brianna must know what Freddie is thinking because she instantly tenses up, “You’re here for the audition?” 

“We are,” She gives them both a perfect smile and then tilts her head to another girl beside her who is holding a guitar case, “We’re a package deal.” 

She steps into the room without being invited by Brianna and gives Freddie a smile, “Regina Taylor at your service. And this is Joan Deacon.” 

The girl beside Regina is just Brianna’s type, brunette, leggy, and with a sweet smile. She gives her guitarist a look; it would be rude for them to deny them the audition. Brianna clears her throat, “Okay, the floor is yours then. The amp for the bass is over there, and there are some drumsticks on that table.” 

They both turn to work on their own instruments before playing, and Brianna walks over to where Freddie is sitting, “I take that as a resounding no.” 

“You know me so well, darling.” 

“It was a no on my part too. She's too—” 

“Perfect? Someone, you would absolutely fall in love with given a chance?” 

Brianna gives her an apologetic smile, “We both know the rules.” 

A loud tapping sound makes them both turn towards the drum kit only to find the blonde hunched over the tom-toms making a face. She stops when she notices that they are looking at her, “Jesus Christ, have people been playing on these all day long?” 

Freddie’s eyebrows rise, “They have. Why? is there a problem?” 

“A problem? They’re not tuned. Of course, there is a problem, I bet all of the drummer auditions have gone terrible. These could make Ginger Baker sound like a high school student.” 

“Regina,” the brunette, Joan, warns, “don’t be rude.” 

“Not being rude, just truthful.” 

Brianna leans forward and frowns, “You can tune drums?” 

“Don't get her started. She won’t ever shut up about it.” 

“Of course I won’t shut up about it! All you guitar players are the same!

“Can you tell we have this argument often?” 

Freddie snorts and rolls her eyes, “Alright ladies, no need to rip each other apart.” 

“Thank you. Yes, you can tune drums, and yes, Regina is an asshole about it. Now, do you have any songs you’d like us to play?” 

Freddie smiles, “I like you, darling.” 

Brianna steps on her toes, “Not any song in particular, just whatever you know to play best.” 

Regina picks herself up from the drums once she finishes tuning them and looks at Joan, “Alright, Rock and Roll by Zeppelin?” 

“Yeah, I can do that as long as you let me show off after a while.”

“Right, as if. Count me in, Deaky.” 

_Fuck._ Freddie should have known. The ease they had around their instruments was like no other person she had ever seen expect maybe Brianna and Red. She should have known that they were going to be _fantastic_ musicians. The wall of sound that hit them made Freddie’s hair stand on end; it was incredible. It sounded clean and thick just like she wanted her band to sound like, and they transitioned perfectly every time. They didn’t miss a single beat or played out of tune once. It was impressive. 

_Fuck._ Now she really wanted them to be a part of her band. She was sure they would sound heavenly together. Once Brianna added Red and she added her own vocal and piano skills they would be unstoppable. She turned to look at the guitarist who looked just as entranced and enamoured as she felt. 

They came to a stop after a while, and Freddie shot up to her feet to clap, “That was just— darlings you are amazing!” 

“Thank you.”  
“Yes, we know.” 

She turns towards Brianna, who is still looking at them, absolutely starstruck, “B? Join them, let's see if they work with Red.” 

She scrambles to get her guitar out of her case, and Joan watches with interest. Freddie smiles, “you’ll love red. Brianna built her from scratch with her dad.” 

The bassist raises an eyebrow, “From scratch?” 

Freddie nods, “Her pride and joy. If you don’t work with her sound, we’ll have to keep searching for other members of our band. It is non-negotiable.” 

Brianna finally emerges from her spot on the floor with Red’s strap over her shoulder and both of them gape at the instrument. Brianna looks smug, “Wait until you hear her play.” 

* * *

They’re fucked. She knows they are. Joan and Regina fit into their band perfectly, which makes Regina so excited that she invites them over for drinks at their apartment. Brianna and Joan spend the entire way talking to each other about Brianna’s damn guitar. They are talking a mile a minute about things that Freddie cannot even begin to pretend to understand. And then there is Regina. 

She gives Freddie one smile and starts asking about her clothes, about her makeup and her hair. It feels awkward, the first two minutes, and then Freddie feels as if she has known Regina for her entire life. 

She loves Brianna, she does, but it had taken them a few weeks to get to the point where she could truly talk to her a mile a minute without her getting confused or Freddie getting annoyed at her seeming lack of interest. She knows now that Brianna has never not been interested, but it took a while to figure the guitarist out. 

She doesn’t need to figure Regina out. She just talks and talks, and by the end of the night, they are sprawled out on the living room carpet talking about everything that comes to mind. Brianna and Joan are on the couch fiddling with an old, nearly useless, amp and Freddie realise that she truly is fucked. They both are. 

Regina turns to look at Freddie, and not for the first time the singer realises that her eyes are strikingly blue. She isn’t sure that she has ever seen that exact shade in any other place, “This was great. I’m glad you let us into your band.”

Freddie gives her a small smile, “How could we not, darling? You two are fantastic.” 

Regina turns to look at Joan, who is smiling and nodding as Brianna explains something about circuits in guitars. The blonde smiles softly, “Joan is amazing, the ying to my yang, if you will.” 

“I didn’t know you were soulmates.” 

Regina lets out a bark of laughter, “Soulmates? God no. Not romantic ones at least. She just gets me. She balances me out, I can be quite a handful, and she knows how to cool me down.” 

“Ah,” Freddie turns to look at Brianna, “I think I know what you mean. That’s Brianna for me. She’s a little bit less level headed, and a whole more arrogant, but I know what you mean.” 

Regina laughs, “Sounds like you love her.” 

“Yes well, she is lovable even if I want to strangle her every other day.” 

They stay lying quietly next to one another, watching as the other girls speak animatedly about something or other. It seems almost perfect, too perfect. It feels as if the world is shifting on its axis and finally spinning the right way. It feels as if she's falling and finally coming home at the same time. It's terrifying. 

Then Regina clears her throat, “You feel it too?” 

She can’t do it. She can’t lose it. She is an artist. She literally has an art degree and a promising career as a musician. There is nothing to Freddie but art, not like Brianna who can turn into a scientist or Regina who can either keep studying biology or change her life on a whim whenever she feels like it. There is nothing more to Freddie apart from being an artist, and she can’t give herself up for love. 

She frowns and looks at Regina, “Feel what, darling?” 

A brief flash of hurt crosses Regina’s features, but then she just gives Freddie a bright smile, “That we are going to be fucking fantastic. As friends and as a band.” 

Freddie laughs, and she just hopes that Regina can’t hear that it's not as bright as it should be, “Amen to that, darling!” 

Once they both settle back down, she catches Brianna’s gaze as she looks at Freddie with knowing eyes— and Freddie just looks away. 

* * *

“I'm just saying that maybe Joan is not my soulmate, you know? Maybe we just really hit it off.” Sunlight is streaming into their kitchen as it always does in the midst of March, and Brianna looks positively edible as she cooks them their breakfast. She has mismatched socks, a long t-shirt, and her hair up in a bun with some flyaway curls. Had Freddie not promised herself that she would never even think about Brianna as more than a friend, she would have gone over and pressed her to the counter so that she could kiss her senseless. 

But no, even if she did decide to break her own promise, Brianna would slap her if she tried such a thing especially now that she seemed absolutely smitten with Joan. Freddie leans forward, resting her chin on her palms, “You’re trying to find excuses, and you know that.” 

Brianna taps the spoon into the brim of the pan with more force than is needed. “Shut up, Fred.” 

The singer just shrugs, “I mean you can totally get together if you want to. I won’t stop you.” 

“Just because you and Regina definitely are soulmates, doesn't mean that Joan and I are.”

Freddie hums, “This has nothing to do with Regina and I, darling. I already know what I want and what I _definitely_ don’t want. We are talking about you and Joan, which is an absolute possibility given how fast you two seemed to get along.” 

“Like a house on fire.” Brianna mutters under her breath, “It's fucking weird. Especially because I know I wouldn’t get along with someone like her under other circumstances.” 

“Bah, you would. It would take longer than it did this time, but you two would make good friends.” 

“We’d drive each other insane.” The kettle whistled, loudly and Brianna took it off the stove before serving both of them a cup of tea. 

“With all due respect, sweetheart. You’d drive Mother Theresa insane.” 

Brianna slides to cup over to Freddie before turning back to the eggs she had been cooking, “I have it on good authority that you love me, Miss Mercury.” 

“Maybe I do. Doesn’t mean you don’t need to shut up once in a while,” she takes a sip from her scalding hot tea, “I’m not trying to make you sad, darling. I’m just saying that your soulmate will love you, pain in the ass or not.” 

Brianna grabs the plates from the overhead cupboard and gives them equal parts of scrambled eggs. She walks over to where Freddie is sitting and then plops down on the chair beside her. Freddie takes one good look at her, up close she can see that she has darker than normal eye bags, and that her eyes are a little bit red around the edges. 

The singer frowns and cups her face. “You do know that I’ll love you regardless of everything, right B?” 

Brianna sighs and turns to face Freddie, “Fuck, Fred, what am I going to do?” 

“Talk to me, darling, what’s on your mind?” 

Brianna swallows and leans into Freddie’s touch, “I should have known that Tim wasn’t the one. I know now. I gave him up too easily. I know that Joan and I have only known each other for less than two months but—” 

“It feels like she has always been there?” 

She blows out a breath that makes one of her stray curls flutter, “Yeah, exactly like that. I don’t know if I can just cut her off, or stop myself from falling. I don’t know how you do it.” 

The singer shrugs, “I have everything to lose, you don’t.” 

“ _Freddie_.” 

“We are not having this conversation, not again. But you know I’m right, Brimi.” 

She bites her lip, her little fang poking out, “What about Queen?” 

“What _about_ Queen?” 

“Will you still want me around if I do—” 

“For someone so smart, you can be quite stupid. Of course, I’ll still want you around for as long as you want to stick with me.” 

Brianna leans forward and wraps her arms around Freddie, “I think I’m going to ask her out. I think.” 

Freddie wraps her arms around the guitarist’s waist, “I'll help you out if you want. At least to confirm that she is your soulmate, although I’m already pretty sure she is.” 

Brianna laughs, “Oh, I see, you want to witness a true love’s kiss.” 

Freddie laughs and lets her best friend go then turns towards her eggs. She really doesn’t want to have to eat cold, chewy eggs. Brianna doesn’t move, and after a few minutes, Freddie turns back to look at her, “Yes?” 

“You know, for someone that helped me get rid of every single person I thought was my soulmate, you are pretty okay with me suddenly wanting to connect with the real one.” 

Freddie shrugs and thinks of Regina. Perfect Regina with her golden hair, ridiculously perfect eyes. Perfect Regina with her wicked sense of humour and her temper. Perfect Regina with her cupid bow lips and stupidly cute nose that twitches when she talks. Freddie often finds herself jealous of Brianna, she is not going to lie. Brianna who can love without putting her entire life at risk. 

She shrugs, “You know I am bound by blood to help you be happy, darling.” 

Brianna frowns at Freddie but turns back towards her food, knowing that Freddie won’t tell her anything unless she wants to. And indeed she won’t. Freddie turns back to her eggs, and they finish eating in silence. 

Freddie is absolutely not thinking about how Regina would make her say something. or at least wouldn’t let her think about what is troubling her. 

* * *

“I can’t fucking believe you went and got us evicted. _Evicted.”_ Regina throws another crumpled up piece of paper at Joan which she dodges easily. “And for what? So that you can go live with your girlfriend?” 

Brianna picks up the paper ball from the floor and throws it into the bin they had brought into the room when they started to pack up Regina and Joan’s things, “That was clearly not why she did what she did.” 

“Shut up. You’re just happy that you get to play house indefinitely.” 

Brianna doesn’t even try to deny it, “And you’re just pretending to be angry so that we don’t notice that you’re thrilled to go live with Freddie.” 

That makes her shut up. Brianna and Joan both return to making sure that everything is properly packed up, completely ignoring the way that Regina is gaping at them like a fish. Every few seconds, she tries to say something, only for it to get stuck in her throat. Finally, she gives up and sits down where she had been a few minutes earlier. There are at least another ten minutes of silence before she sighs and lets whatever she had been packing up fall to the floor. 

“I’m not.” 

Brianna frowns, “What?” 

“I’m not happy to be moving in with Freddie.” 

She looks at Joan, it has been a long time since she has heard Regina sound that dejected. They both drop whatever they are doing and walk over to comfort the drummer. Joan sits down beside her and grabs her hand, “Talk to us?” 

She shrugs, “Just— you know how it is. I’m in love with her. She treats me like her best friend in the entire universe. Scratch that, she treats me like I’m the most important person in the universe and then she just— she pretends that I don't know that she is my soulmate.” 

“You know.” 

Regina glares at Brianna, “Of course I know, asshole. It’s impossible not to. Time stops when I’m with her, and she makes me smile like no other person has ever made me smile. She also knows how to fucking hurt me.” 

Brianna doesn’t know what to say. In the past few months, Regina has become her best friend, much like Freddie is. She loves them both enough to know that they are hurting each other in ways that neither she nor Joan can help them with. Freddie is being an idiot and not allowing Regina to get close enough, and Regina is ripping Freddie’s heart out. Making her wonder if keeping her colours is worth it. 

Brianna knows that that is a sore point for the singer, she has always been so attached to life as it is and to the idea that she is nothing if not an artist. That she won’t be able to compose, or paint, or do makeup, or be _herself_ once she gives up to Regina. 

Brianna knows the feeling, it’s exactly what has kept Joan and her from taking that last step. For now, the name scrawled in thick letters that appeared on their wrists after their kiss will have to do, but something deep within Brianna knows that it’s not a matter of _if_ for her and Joan, but rather a matter of _when._

For Regina and Freddie it's different. She hasn’t gotten much out of Freddie, only that she knows the singer is already in love. Already fantasising about the day where they get to live together, when they get to adopt their first pet, have their first child, get their first house. It’s too much, and before the fantasy is even consolidated, Freddie is already running away. She has always known that about her friend, she is all or nothing, and once she lets herself have something with Regina, she won’t allow herself to back down. 

“I just don’t fucking understand.” 

Brianna raises her eyebrow, “You don’t?” 

“No, I don't. I don’t get why she has to keep running yet holding on so fucking tightly on to me. I just want her to make a choice.” 

Okay, Brianna can understand that. She is about to say something when Joan interrupts, “Well, I think I do.” 

Regina laughs, “No, you don’t.” 

“Yes, I do.” Joan squeezes her hand, “It’s the same reason why I ran from Veronica.” 

“Deaky—” 

“No, listen to me, I know what I’m talking about.” Joan tugs at a strand of hair to get Regina to look at her, “She is terrified because it _is_ a terrifying thing, Regina. You kiss, and suddenly you get a fancy mark on the side of your wrist. You fuck, and suddenly everything turns black and white. You give up the world for them, or rather the world as you know it.” 

“I know that, Joan.” 

“Do you? ‘Cause you seem to forget. Especially when it comes to Freddie. She is such a colourful person, everything she does seems to have colour, everything she says and thinks and the music she composes and the art she paints. By you two getting together she’ll basically have to give herself away. Or so she thinks.” 

“You and Brianna seem ready to do it.” 

“Yes well, Brianna doesn’t need colours to see the stars, and I don’t need them to fix shit.” 

Regina purses her lips and Brianna stares at Joan with wide eyes. Maybe she knows way more than she pretends to. 

* * *

Freddie never thought she would see the day in which Brianna was the one coaxing her out of the house. Especially now that the guitarist seemed hell-bent on never going out so that she has time to work on both her songs and her thesis at the same time. Freddie is still waiting for her to snap, she knows that she is going to have to choose between the band and her work at some point and the singer really doesn't want to push her just yet. 

“Drop it, Bri. I’m not going. I’ll just play sick and get you and Joan to fake fuss over me.” 

“No, you _are_ going.” Brianna takes out one of her tube tops, its blood-red and makes Freddie’s tits look fantastic. It will go well with the black leather skirt she already chose, “Its been at least two months since you last hung out with Regina— properly hung out. You really can’t do this to her.” 

“I can, and I will. I can’t keep falling in love with her and going clubbing while she wears one of those deliciously short skirts is simply not going to help my case.” 

“Well then break it off completely. I’m sure you can find a nice studio apartment in which you can live without torturing the poor girl. Without giving her all the hope and love that comes with being your best friend and then yanking it away from her.” 

“I can’t do that either. I wouldn’t survive a day without Regina.” 

Brianna throws the shirt to her face in a fit of rage, “You are being such a bitch, Mercury.” 

“Brimi—” 

“No, I don’t care. You might be my oldest friend, but I love you just as much as I love Reggie. So get your shit together and get ready for a night out or start looking for apartments.” She throws the leather skirt, she looks fucking pissed, “You don’t have to get married, you don’t even have to have kiss her if you are fucking terrified of that too for some weird reason. But you don’t get to hurt her like that.” 

“So fuck me then?” 

“Yes. Joan and I have been thinking about, and only you for a long time. Time to grow up.” 

“Fuck you.” 

Brianna turns and storms out of her room, slamming the door behind her. Freddie lets herself fall on the bed, feeling stupid. She turns her head to look at the bed beside her. It looks just like it had that morning when Regina had rushed off giving her a kiss on the cheek and reminding her that they were going to go clubbing that night. 

Freddie lets out a scream of annoyance and kicks the blankets off of her. Fuck Brianna, fuck Joan, and most importantly of all, _fuck_ Regina Taylor. She grabs the skirt and the top from the floor where they fell, then walks over and grabs the first panties and stick-on bra, and storms out of the room. She slams the bathroom door for good measure, knowing it will startle Brianna. 

She takes a long time in the shower too, for good measure. Making sure to use a good part of Brianna’s curls shampoo and conditioner, both to make her own curls pop and Brianna angry. Then she takes even longer in making sure that her makeup is perfect, taking even longer once Brianna knocks on the door and tells her to hurry up so that she can pee. 

By the end, she looks good enough to eat, not exactly what she was going for but if it means pissing up Brianna, she will gladly do it. When she comes out of the bathroom, Regina is already standing in the middle of the living room looking like she was sent by the gods. She is wearing a loose faux silk dress that hugs her curves perfectly. It’s a shade of purple that looks almost black, and it makes Freddie lightheaded. 

The blonde turns and blinks at Freddie, her makeup looks perfect too. Dark eyeshadow making her blue eyes pop, and her perfect lips only shades away from matching Freddie’s shirt perfectly. The singer clicks her tongue, “How am I supposed to go dancing with you looking like that, darling? It’ll make everyone go insane.” 

“Well, I could say the same thing about you.” She takes a step forward and wraps one of Freddie’s curls around her fingers, “have I ever told you that I really like how you look with your hair this long?” 

Freddie smiles and holds out her arm, “Let’s go clubbing.” 

* * *

Freddie cuts off nearly all of her hair by the end of May. She sports her mullet like a crown on their first meeting with their management in regards to the recordings they are going to have to do in Ridge Farm, even if their eyes nearly bulge out of their faces when they see her. 

They are going to have to stay away from the world for two months, hidden away in the dingiest, most crappy studio they could find in the entire country. But for once, she is eager to go to the middle of nowhere. Away from their stupid little apartment in which Regina and her have gotten dangerously close to kissing for the first time more than once. 

Her girlfriend is growing increasingly impatient with her, but she is just looking for the right time to do it. Looking for the right moment to wow her with their first kiss and their ugly scribbles on their wrists. 

Or so she tells herself. She knows that she is still terrified, she will always be, but Brianna had been right that night a few months ago, it’s not like she needs to marry Regina as soon as they have their first kiss, it’s not like she has to instantly give herself away. A kiss would just be that, a kiss. And having sex with her would just mean that she would be able to laugh at other people through their bond. And of course, lose all artistic inspiration she has ever had. 

She still can’t bring herself to do it, not when she knows that once it starts it will only be a matter of time until she can’t stop herself. She is used to taking a mile where she is given an inch, and she knows that if she allows herself to do it her life as Freddie Mercury would be over. 

So yes, Ridge Farm sounds like paradise on earth, even though she screeches all day long about not wanting to live in a dirty farm with things like chickens and, god forbid, moths. Regina sees right through her, of course. She would. She knows that even though she pretends to be a diva Freddie spent the better part of her childhood running behind butterflies and rolling around in the grass. 

Regina knows a surprising amount about her. One second she had been her best friend that she had kept at arm's length to avoid falling in love, the next she was her girlfriend and knew everything about her. The way she liked her shirts folded and her bed made, and how she liked to go to sleep with socks on but woke up at three in the morning to take them off.

She had even seen right through her when she had cut all of her hair off, and had run her hands through her short locks, then placed a kiss on the tip of her nose before saying with a knowing smile, “I think I like it better like this.” 

Freddie is an asshole to Regina one out of ten times, and it has slowly turned from fights and silent treatments into the singer crying into her chest at night and terrified out of her mind that she is going to lose the best thing that has ever happened to her. But Regina seems set on waiting for Freddie, and Freddie is set on making sure that she is ready for that perfect moment in which she finds the courage to finally give her girlfriend a kiss. 

* * *

In the end, she doesn’t need courage, because it happens randomly and so stupidly that for a second she considers sitting down on the floor and crying about it for a while. 

Freddie is rushing out of the door, she had promised Brianna that she would help her find something for hers and Joan’s anniversary and she was more than fashionably late. Which absolutely was Regina’s fault for being such a good cuddler and making Freddie love the mornings more than a sane person should. She had been sleeping in their room and cuddling her girlfriend when her phone rang. 

Brianna had wanted her to know that she was going to be fifteen minutes late because she had gotten caught up with Joan, and Freddie blanched. Fortunately, she had been able to sound awake enough to make Brianna believe that she had absolutely been getting ready to go out of the house. 

Regina had looked perfect, laying in bed with eyes half-open looking as Freddie was getting ready. She had smiled when Freddie had put her shirt on backwards and had laughed at her girlfriend when she realised that her make up was going to take a long time and Brianna was going to be more than pissed at her. 

Freddie rushed out of the room and into their bathroom to take care of her teeth and her make up, which took her about half an hour at top speed. By the end, she was looking as immaculate as she always did, and she was at least thirty minutes late. She was rushing around the bedroom putting on her shoes and jewellery when Regina pouted, “You’re going to leave without saying goodbye?” 

Freddie rolled her eyes, “Never, sweetheart.” 

She grabs her purse from the dresser, stuffs her wallet and phone into it, and a pack of gum for good measure. Then she walks over to Regina and kisses the tip of her nose, “See you tonight? I wanted to go out and try that new restaurant that opened near the park. I heard they serve fantastic Indian food.” 

“I can do that. You won’t be late?” 

“Of course not.” She presses a kiss to her lips, she tastes slightly like peaches and that tea that she likes to drink in the mornings, “See you tonight, Reggie.” 

She sprints out of the apartment and into the nearest Underground station. Her wrist feels itchy, but she can’t afford to waste time looking at what is causing her discomfort until she is seated in the cabin. She unclasps her bangles and stares at her arm for a moment, not quite understanding what she was seeing until the memory of that morning played out on her mind. 

She feels like running away to France and running back into the apartment at the same time. Feels like she has both missed the most important moment of her life and doomed herself forever. The old lady next to her chuckles at Freddie’s rapid breathing, “Oh dear, did you accidentally find your soulmate?” 

She shakes her head and keeps staring at the writing on her skin. ‘ _Regina Taylor’_ is scrawled across her wrist in the prettiest handwriting imaginable, “I wanted to make it special. Our first kiss.” 

“And it wasn’t?” 

She shakes her head, “I was in a rush and kissed her accidentally.” 

“A first kiss is still a first kiss. They are all special, more so if it’s with your soulmate.” 

She still can’t stop staring at the writing on her wrist, suddenly terrified that she had just ruined their relationship because of one slip up. 

Her phone is buzzing inside her purse, and she takes it out. She knows Regina is probably angry as hell and calling her to scream about the fact that she didn’t let them kiss under the rain like Regina had always dreamed of and instead had given them the least memorable first kiss. 

It’s not a call, just a bunch of texts in rapid succession. 

_your handwriting is ugly as hell_

_what does that even say_

_i adore it_

_its going straight to the groupchat_

_Fuck, please not the group chat._

_Brianna will murder me once she discovers  
_ _how our first kiss went._

_fuck her_

_i like how it went_

_she gets no sa_

_say*_

_it was perfect_

_just like you_

_So date night is still on?_

_hell yeah_

_see you tonight babe_

_ill make reservations_

Freddie sends her several emojis and breathes a sigh of relief, “It’s all good.” 

The old lady looks particularly smug for someone that had spoken less than thirty words to Freddie. She gives the singer a smile, “Just you wait dear, you don’t know colours until you marry someone.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr as @iamnotbrianmay, come say hi! 
> 
> Also, Kudos and Comments are what keep me alive.


End file.
